


Petals of an Anemone

by green_piggy



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AU, Crossover - Final Fantasy XII, Crossover - Free!, Gen, pre-game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 14:43:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1473544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/green_piggy/pseuds/green_piggy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Raberba girl's 'Other Kinds of Love' Challenge. A series of one hundred oneshots about platonic relationships between the Kingdom Hearts characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jeans - Hume Hats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was days like this that made Aqua wonder about how their conversation went from Axel's size six jeans to wax-tasting sweets with ridiculous names.

"Aqua?"

I look up from my physics notes, sighing as I spot Axel's head – or at least, the part that isn't covered by his  _ridiculous_ hairstyle, which admittedly wasn't that much – peeking out from the corner of the bathroom door. I could also see that he was bare-chested, and that every single one of his ribs was poking out of his skin. The sight of the sharp-edges looking ready to launch out of his waist any second nearly made me sick, but I pushed down the feeling of nausea, pretending to not be bothered.

" _Aqua?_ " he presses again, sounding concerned.

"You're too skinny," I blurt out, and then duck my head as Axel gives me an exasperated look.  _Everyone_ always says that to him (especially Saïx, but given that the two of them are brothers, that's to be expected), but it's true. No one, male or female, should be able to count all of their ribs. It just isn't  _healthy_.

"I know, I  _know._ "

"Then why don't you do anything about it?" I snap back irritatedly. "If you collapse, don't expect me to help you."

"Aww, you'll have to do mouth-to-mouth on me. Couldn't really pick anyone better to kiss, right?" He winks. "Anyway," he hurriedly adds before I can reply. He must sense my discomfort. "I kinda, ah, need help."

"With what?"

"Do you have a spare belt?"

… _What?_ Why would he need a belt? And why would he ask such a stupid question?  _He's_ the one with the belt fetish... it's almost as bad as Leon's. "Um, why?"

"These jeans-" he pulls at the dark red fabric on his leg, frowning. "-Keep falling down."

He'd better not have gotten a large size  _again_... "What size is it?" I ask tiredly.

"Small."

" _Number?_ "

"Six."

Okay, I was an  _eight_ , and even then, I sometimes struggled to fit into them, especially after Terra had convinced me to eat ten-too-many pies. Axel was  _too small for a six._

"Axel."

"Yeah?"

I rip open the top drawer of the drawers near my bed and shuffle through them until I find my secret stash of chocolate bars and sweeties. It was a guilty pleasure of mine; my family had been strict with my sugar intake (worried about me getting diabetes and all of that), and now that I was away on a field trip with my university... I felt that I had a right to eat whatever the hell I wanted.

Besides, there was only so much pomegranates that any girl could take, and I had a soft spot for Hume Hats.

The Chocobo Feathers are outdated by about a month, but I throw the packet at Axel. He stumbles to catch it, and his trousers fall down, revealing his black boxers.

Nice  _choice._ Better than the moogle ones I had been somewhat-expecting.

And no, I hadn't been thinking about his boxers.

Shut up.

"Good catch!" I call out sarcastically. I think he's too busy gaping at me to reply properly, his words being nothing but gibberish.

"What... why..?"

Next, I find the stash of Munny Orbs at the bottom of the drawer, rattling about loudly. I yank them out and fling them to the redhead behind me.

"Aqua what are you-" He suddenly sniggers. "Nice butt."

I throw a Thwomp Smacker at his face.

After I manage to overflow his arms with all of the unhealthy sweets that I can find, I slam the drawer shut and look at him.

"What-" The packet of melted Gleamwood Snow slumps to the ground. He picks it up before continuing. "-Are you, and what have you done with Aqua?"

"Call Saïx and tell him that you're not going out today."

He stares at me as if I've announced that I plan to dress him up as the Black Slammurai for Christmas. We did that before. It was amusing. I was stuck in the Mr. Mew Suit, and we spent most of the evening drunk. "Aqua, have you finally gone  _insane?_ "

I walk up to him and poke his ribs through the many sweets. He glares at me, but I can see him blushing a tiny bit. "I was always insane, dummy. And you need to get fat."

"So you plan on stuffing me with all of your  _outdated_ sweets?"

Oops, he noticed. Ah well. "Something like that, yeah."

He sits down on his bed, which is directly opposite from mine, and empties the sweets from his arms onto it. They cover half of the bed. I sit down beside him and lean behind him to nab a Hume Hat from the already-open packet. Hopefully they haven't gone off – they've been open for about a week.

"Aqua..." Axel stares at me intensely, his thin eyebrows scrunched together, and after a few seconds I have to look away, because I've never known him to be this serious before. I'm not used to it. It's a bit scary, really; he's always joking about and shoving off my protests, so for him to not object... maybe his lack of weight's a bigger issue for him than I first thought. "Why do you care?"

I stuff the sour Hume Hat into his mouth, because he  _needs_ to stop being so serious, it's frightening. "These are my favourite, especially the Balthier ones."

He stares at me again. "People  _name_ these things?"

I pour out the rest of the pocket into my hands, grinning. I always love showing off my knowledge of...  _sweets_ to people. Even if everyone else thought that it was weird that I geeked out over sweets, I thought it was cool. I mean, how many people did you know who knew the history of Val'Cie Wings?  _None!_  "Well, you see this blond one?" He nods. "That's Vaan, and then the slightly paler one is Ashe."

He peers closer. "They look the  _exact same._ " He then nabbed the Ashe one and threw it into his mouth.

That's when I remember that they're rock solid, like rock canes.

" _Don't bite!_ "

Too late. "-Ah  _shi_ -"

-I clamp a hand over his mouth before he can finish. "These things can, and  _will_ , break your teeth. The Penelo one's the hardest. I lost two teeth because of her."

He's too busy moaning in pain to really object, so I continue on, removing my hand and picking up a yellow orb so pale it's almost white. The noticeable black scar across the top wrecks it.

"And then the  _palest_ one is Basch."

He holds up a black one with two tiny white dots at the top, still wincing as he clutches his jaw. Yet, somehow, he continues to suck on the one in his mouth. I honestly don't know how he does it. "This?"

"That's Fran. She's the sourest one. She tastes like lemons."

Axel spits out the Ashe one that he'd been eating. It rolls along the wooden boards before vanishing into the shadows underneath my bed.  _Great._

" _Lemons?_ "

"If you think that's bad, just  _wait_ until you try Vaan. He's like... pomegranates."

" _Pomegranates!?"_

"Hush." I stuff a Balthier one into his mouth.

Axel proceeds to turn green before running off to the toilet next door. He slams the door shut, and I can hear him throw up into the toilet.

Oh yeah.

Most people didn't like wax-flavoured sweets.

My bad.

" _Aqua!_ " Once he manages to finish puking his guts out, which essentially undoes all of my hard work, he pokes his head out, which is still quite green. He's finally managed to pull on a nattered-looking orange shirt, and I make a note to take him clothes-shopping if we don't have any essays to hand in later. "What in flaming pants was  _that!?_ "

"Balthier's picky."

" _Balthier_ ," he says slowly, "is a sweet."

"I never said that he was a person."

He sits down next to me, making the bed creak noticeably. Huh. Maybe he's not as skinny as I thought he was. Still needs to eat. "You're making him sound as if he's one."

"Don't put words into my mouth!" I interrupt before he can say anything else.

He smirks. "Want me to put my lips there instead?"

I throw another Thwomp Smacker at him and smirk as he hits the ground, clutching his nose in pain. "Aww, I thought you'd prefer being top, Axel!"

" _Aqua!_ " he nearly squeaks out, mortified. "W-what... you know what that  _means_?"

"Of course I do!" I cross my arms protectively. What kind of person does he take me for? "I'm not innocent and untainted, you know!"

 _Somehow_ , I don't even know how, he waggles his short eyebrows with a wide smirk. "I could make you see the  _light_ ~"

I dump the pocket of melted (and open!) Gleamwood Snows over his head.

His unmanly squeak makes my week.


	2. Sorry - WINNER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, he wonders if there's even a reason left for him to fight. Post-3D, KHIII speculation.

Aqua – sorry,  _Master_ Aqua – is the worst teacher ever, and that is a fact.

"You're holding your Keyblade wrong, Axel."

"No I am  _not!_ " Was there even a wrong way to hold it? "And it's  _Lea_!"

Aqua sighed at me heavily. Her Keyblade – Stormfall – vanished in a flash of light as she made her way over to me. Why? What had I done wrong  _now?_ Hell, if little dorky  _Roxas_ could use a Keyblade, and he was barely tall enough to reach my chest, then surely I would do better?

"Hold out your hand."

Instead, I stuck out my tongue. Childish, I know, but I couldn't help myself. I was just so sick and tired of this. Of everything. But mainly the Keyblade.

Learning how to wield the Keyblade was way way  _wayyyy_ harder than what everyone else made it out to be, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit jealous of Sora, especially with how quickly he (apparently) mastered it. Explained why Roxas was so frickin' good, but  _still!_ I'd been practising for the past three months, and I'd only  _just_ learnt all of the basic spells, along with the first three levels of Fire. Aqua had said that she wanted me to learn the first two levels of each spell, along with Reflect, Curaga, and Triple Firaga, as well as the weird barrier thing her and Riku used as a shield. Did she consider me to be some kind of magic whiz kid?

Well, I wasn't.

I could tell that Aqua barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She yanked my aching hand out without warning, apparently ready to give me a tongue lashing for holding it wrong  _again_ , but instead she frowned.

"Your hand's bleeding?" she said, sounding confused.

I glanced down. Oh, yeah. That'd be from why Kairi 'accidentally' hit me yesterday, while we were training together. I think that she still wanted to get vengeance on me for the whole kidnapping thing. Couldn't blame her, really. The friction of the handle must have been rubbing against the open cuts. "Eh, that was Kairi. Don't worry."

I looked back up to Aqua, only to glance back down again once I felt something soft and prickling. The green light of a Cure spell faded away from my hand, stitching up the several cuts and washing all of the blood off magically (and it also fixed clothing, as I learnt the other day after a stray Poison spell; seriously though, how was I meant to know that Poison ate through cloth?). "...You didn't have to do that."

"Well," Aqua began, still looking at me in that condescending way that she always did (although I don't think she ever meant to; it was just something that she did naturally), "I wanted to. If the blood had gotten worse, then the handle would have been slippery, and you wouldn't be able to hold it."

"Not that I could in the first place," I grumbled to myself.

" _Lea._ " Aqua had her hands on her hips. Oh  _Darkness._ "I said that you didn't hold it  _correctly._ You're doing better than Terra did, at first."

I didn't miss the saddened look at Terra's name, but I didn't mention it. She respected my space whenever I talked about Roxas or Xion, after all. It was like some kind of mutual thing we had between us; we could talk about our lost friends, but  _never_ ask the other about them. Too painful.

Damn, having a heart  _really_ sucked; just  _thinking_ of those two made my heart sink. Thinking of Isa just ripped it into a thousand broken shards, which was... I couldn't even  _describe_ it, it was that awful.

"Well, yeah, but you've been training for your  _whole_ life."

"Not until I was five," Aqua said firmly. "And I wasn't allowed a proper Keyblade until I was twelve; Master Eraqus made us train with wooden Keyblades."

Yeah, because  _that_ was supposed to make me feel  _so much better._

"I'm kinda  _twenty-six._ "

"Better late than never." Aqua gave me some strange look – pity? Damn it, I didn't  _need_ any pity! - before Stormfall appeared in a flourish of rose petals and light. "Now, let's get back to training."

 _Whaaaatttttt._ We'd been training for  _three hours straight._ Even the Organization let us have breaks every hour! Sheesh! "Aqua, can't we take a  _break?_ " I whined.

"No," came the cross reply. "Now, perform a Blizzard spell."

" _Why_ would I ever need a Blizzard spell?"

" _Why_  do you use Fire spells?"

...Oh. She had me there.

I grumbled some curses underneath my breath, but whipped out my Keyblade all-the-same, pointing it at some poor rock on the beach. How did Aqua say to do it again..?

Before I could make sense of it, a huge chunk of ice shot out from my Keyblade (which I was still too lazy to name) and shattered upon hitting the rock. I glanced over to Aqua with a nervous chuckle. Was it  _meant_  to shatter?

Actually, she looked impressed. Kind of. Maybe. I don't know. It was gone, at any rate. "...That was a Blizzaga spell. I said  _Blizzard._ "

"But c'mon! The stronger the better, right?"

"Blizzaga takes longer to reload than Blizzard. Sometimes, multiple Blizzard spells are better than a single Blizzaga spell  _and_ Blizzaga takes up more room in the command deck."

Because I had totally asked for that lecture.

Aqua threw an ether over herself. Suddenly, she pointed her Keyblade at me and shouted, "Thundaga!"

I barely leapt out of the way as a huge bolt of lightning crashed down on the sand, reducing it to a nice fuzzy spot of black. "Good reaction."  _Now_ she sounded impressed. For what? Trying to sneak up on me?

"The hell?"

Another Thundaga spell. Oh c- " _Stop_ it!" I totally  _did not_ squeak as the thunder flashed a metre away from me.

Much to my surprise, she let out a loud laugh, the sound ringing through the empty islands. "Not until you get better! The enemy will show no pity!"

Oh,  _two_ could play at that game. " _Firaga!"_

She cartwheeled out of the way of the roaring fire (how the heck did she  _cartwheel_?) before leaping into the air. Fire surrounded her, crackling as she spun towards me. She was using a Fire Surge!?

OH THAT WAS SO NOT FAIR SHE HADN'T TAUGHT ME HOW TO DODGE THAT.

I scrambled out of the way from my position on the sand. She landed just before me, grinning. The flames circling around her whispered away into the sea air.

"You kind of need to  _stand up._ "

I stood up, ignoring the hand that she offered to help.

Aqua looked a bit insulted, but went on, "I need to teach you how to dodge properly. How athletic are you?"

"Pretty?" I said, uncertain of where this was going. I ran for the track team  _wayyyy_ back at school (but that was ages ago), and as for the Organization... well.

"You shouldn't roll," she said. "You'll fall over." I glared at her as she  _sniggered_ , actually  _sniggered_ at me. Or giggled. But I preferred to call it a snigger, thank you very much.

"So... what else is there?"

"Well, Terra slided, but that was because he had two left feet." She had a fond smile on her face. "Couldn't even roll like Ven did.  _Anyway_. Should we try cartwheels?"

 _Oh no._ "That's for  _girls._ "

"Because Xehanort is going to take time to notice that you're a bit feminine," she said lightly. "Look... you already have hips to make a girl jealous."

" _Aqua!_ "

"And legs."

" _Stop it!"_

Her face fell. "You can't hold your Keyblade correctly, so the Keyblade would slip out of your hands. Maybe I should just make you roll after all..." She gave me a quick one-over, sighing heavily. "No, you're too tall. It would take too long for you to recover."

"And then Xehanort would be able to attack."

She nodded grimly. " _Exactly._ "

"He'd probably make me his final vessel or something."

I knew immediately that I'd said the wrong thing. Aqua suddenly paled, before she grabbed my hand firmly, eyes blazing as she glared up at me.

"Don't you  _ever_ ," she hissed. "Say that  _again. None_ of us are becoming his vessel, you hear me? Not Sora, not me, and  _especially_ not you."

She was pretty passionate about that. But why 'especially' not me? "Well, why not? I  _was_ in the Organization, and everyone else is part of his vessels."

"You can use that  _exact_ same logic for Ienzo and the others.  _Stop it_."

I was more surprised that she  _knew_ Ienzo and Dilan and all, but I'd save that for another time. And, yet again, she had me. Aqua tended to do that a lot. Even more than Isa had.

_Isa._

I looked away, not wanting to look at Aqua. Suddenly, she looked far too similar to him; same teasing grin, same colour of hair, same...  _everything._ And I was never going to get the real Isa back, was I? He was... he was with  _Xehanort_ now.

I would make him pay. Make him pay for taking away everyone I'd ever loved. At least the others had each other; Sora and Riku and Kairi all had each other, and Aqua probably had Master Yen Sid and Mickey. What about me? Who did  _I_ have? For all of my efforts to try and save the people I cared – no,  _care –_  about... I was left with no one. Roxas  _was_ Sora. Xion was gone. Isa... I'd never get him back again. He'd die first, and it was _all because of Xehanort_. Why was I even fighting? Just... just what  _was_  the point? I didn't see it. Sure, we'd save the worlds, but what about  _me?_ What would  _I_ get?

Nothing, that's what.

I knew that it was selfish, but I couldn't care less.

Aqua's concerned voice drifted into my thoughts, cutting them off. "-You okay?"

I looked up, forcing a smile. It felt fake on my own lips. "Yeah. Just thinking."

She didn't look convinced; her frown went deeper. She looked like a child, and that's when I remembered; she wasn't some old woman who'd lived her own life. Not really. She was nineteen, twenty? A lot younger than me, at least, and she'd spent  _ten years_ in the realm of darkness, and she'd come back alive, beaming light everywhere she looked.

Yeah, maybe I was jealous. She'd been enveloped in darkness, and hey, she's fine. Me? Touched it, and lost my heart.

Something's just a bit unfair.

"Lea-" She shifted on her feet, looking unsure of what to say. She fingered something star-shaped in her pockets. "-You  _do_ know that you can talk to me if you want to, right?"

"Heh. Can't get enough of my big mouth, huh?"

She crossed her arms, sounding irritated. "Ugh-  _stop joking around!_ I'm being serious! You always look so... so... _sad_ whenever you think no one's looking."

Huh? Where the heck did that come from? "I'm  _fine_."

Aqua went on as if I hadn't spoken. Rude. "And it's not like you really have anyone to talk to, either, because at least I have Master Yen Sid and Mickey. But what about you? I never really see you talk to anyone, apart from Riku occasionally."

Riku? That'd make sense. We tended to talk to each other, and he did sometimes take me for training, whenever it was Aqua's turn to teach Kairi; we were both in similar situations. Tallest, fallen in darkness, awkward third wheel to the obvious romance in front of them, brotherly figure (although Roxas had called me a mother, once. I'd smacked him for that; and  _of_ course, Xigbar had overheard, and processed to call me a mama bear for the next few weeks), best friend of a spiky-haired squirt... yeah, we were pretty similar. So we'd hang out and chat whenever Sora popped off to Traverse Town (the  _dream_ one, for whatever reason; he said he had some friends there) and Kairi was busy getting trained by Aqua. I liked him.

"So?" I spat, a bit more venomously then I'd intended. "Not everyone needs to be surrounded by people. Maybe I  _prefer_ being by myself."

Aqua wasn't the least bit fazed by my tone. "But maybe you don't.  _Everyone_ needs a shoulder to lean on whenever they're feeling weak. I understand that you're missing your friends – I miss Ven and Terra, too – but you _will_ get them back."

"I  _know_ that."

"Do you?"

I froze.

"You don't  _act_ like you do. You act like you just want to mope around all day."

I didn't-! I whirled around to face him, feeling the anger course through me. How  _dare_ she judge me!? "I don't  _mope_ around all day! At least your best friend isn't one of Xehanort's vessels!"

"Terra  _is_ Xehanort!"

"Well, so is  _Isa!_   _Isa's_ Xehanort, too!" Speaking it aloud seemed to bring it crashing down on me; Isa was gone. He was  _gone._ I'd always pushed it to the back of my head, telling the thoughts to come back another day, but... I couldn't run away. My hands shook – out of fury or fear, I don't know – as I continued, "At least you're gonna get your friends back! You'll get Ven back, along with Terra, but what's going to happen to Roxas!? To _Xion!?_ Roxas is Ven, and Xion is Roxas! I'll lose everyone I've ever cared about!"

"You weren't trapped in darkness for twelve years!" Aqua near screamed. Her hand continued to clench the thing in her pocket tightly, as if it was a lifeline. Probably some stupid good-luck charm or something. It wasn't like they ever  _did_ anything.

I ignored the WINNER stick suddenly evident in my pocket as Aqua went on, "Do you even  _know_ how horrible it was, to wander there, with nowhere to go, no one to find, and the  _whole time,_ I had to fight the Heartless, not knowing if I would ever get out of that hell? You  _don't_! You have-"

"-At least you still  _had_ your heart! It was..." There were so many words that I could have used. Hell. Horrid. Empty. "It was like you were just... just...  _nothing..._ nothing mattered or... or  _anything._ "

I didn't even know where we were going with this. All of the energy drained out of me, gone as soon as it had come. I flopped down onto the sand, staring at the waves, calling my Keyblade away in a burst of fire. The sun was starting to set, beams of twilight and orange dancing on the water surface like flickering flames. There was a sudden sickness in my stomach. I glanced down to my boots.

I was surprised when Aqua sat down beside me. Her hand awkwardly rested on my arm. "...Sorry. I..."

I waved her off. "It's fine. I kinda overreacted, didn't I?"

She smiled, hesitantly. "That goes for both of us."

The beach descended into silence. The only sound was of the seagulls crowing loudly, flapping their white wings as they raced along the blazing water. It was peaceful.

We were sitting there for a long time before Aqua's hand slipped from my arm down to my hand. She squeezed it gently.

I squeezed back, smiling.

Maybe things could be all right.

For a second, I almost believed that.


	3. Glitter - Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's New Year's Eve. Somehow, for Aqua, that consists of going around to Axel's house and stealing some of Saïx's pancakes

Well.

Here was hoping that Axel was in. Mum had kicked me out of the house for the day, saying that she had some important business to attend to. Most likely a new deal with some posh guy. I didn't really have anywhere else to go, since Terra's mother was freaking  _Maleficent_ ,  _and_  she hated my guts,  _and_  she would throw her grand collection of bottle caps at me to get out (those things really hurt!) and as much as I dearly loved Terra I wasn't willing to go through that again and Ven's family seemed to have a fight every five seconds, so it wouldn't be the wisest thing to head in there.

And hey, Axel was as good a choice as any.

I knocked on the door, which was, for some reason, covered in grinning Sandy Claws heads with no bodies. They probably hadn't taken down their Christmas decorations yet, but  _still_.  _Creepy._ Axel had told me that his dad was a huge fanatic of all of the holidays, even though he and his brother would rather shop in 104 for a day than help out with the decorations.

I knocked again. When no one answered the door, I turned the handle to find it unlocked. Huh. Someone  _had_ to be inside, so I pushed the creaking door open.

It  _really_ needed to be oiled.

Inside, the decorations were  _even worse_ , but it didn't look like it was for Christmas; most of the stuff was banners wishing 'Happy New Year!' and there were several pictures of... I peered closer – a bunch of ghosts running out of a house?

…Wasn't that just a  _bit_ weird?

There was also a small lump of red and black in the middle of the corridor, buried in piles of tinsel and Christmas lights.

"Hello?" I called out, unsure.

The small lump of red and black leapt up. "Hey, Aqua!"

... _Axel!?_

And he was covered in sparkles and tinsel and glitter and I don't know he really needed a wash.

"What-" I yelped as a long red wire crashed down on front of me. Axel chuckled nervously before rushing to pick it up again and drape it over the front of the door frame. I sighed; better try again. "What are you doing? Christmas is  _over_."

"My dad celebrates the New Year," Axel said simply. Without warning, he crushed me into a tight hug, bony arms wrapping around my back with a squeeze. I simply stood there – where did  _that_ come from? - before I hesitantly hugged him back. He smelt of oil and sweat and smoke and-

"Yeah, I stink. Sorry. Just came back from helping Sam fix the Light Cycle." He pulled back, rubbing the back of his neck, still looking sheepish. I just smiled at him; it was a nice smell, like home. I didn't mind it. "Tron broke it again, and Quorra was out and Phoebus was busy so-"

"-It's fine." Then I remembered what he had said earlier. "But why does your dad celebrate the New Year?"

"He's part-Japanese. Apparently, they drive out the evil spirits of the house on New Year's Day or something, I dunno. New start, getting rid of evil, blah blah blah, all of that."

I laughed a bit before noticing a blob of blue hair in the kitchen, cooking something at the stove. It smelt like...  _pancakes?_ "Saïx!"

The man looked up, and sure enough, it was Saïx. I would recognize those eyes anywhere – they were  _sooo_ pretty! Reminded me of Jasmine's tiger, what with the way they were  _amber_ and all of that – not to mention the two massive scars between his eyes. No one would still tell me on where the heck he had gotten them. Much to my amusement, Saïx was wearing some kind of kiddy apron with several sparkling ponies on the front. "Xion forced me to wear this."

"Xion was around?" She didn't pop around too often without one of her brothers guarding her.

"With her brother, just an hour ago." At that, Saïx scowled into the pancake mixture. I half-expected it to burst into flames. "Honestly;  _how_ is she related to him?"

"Which one?" Axel asked lightly, swinging an arm around Saïx's shoulders and attempting to smother him in hugs. Saïx slapped his nose with the fish slice. I sat down on the chair closest to the stove, wrapping my arms around the front of it and looking at the two of them bicker.

"Vanitas." Well, I preferred him to her  _other_ brother; I couldn't even understand what he was saying half of the time! Naminé had told me that he just liked using mathematical terms.

I think 'like' is an understatement.

Also it greatly amused me that Vanitas was younger than Xion.

Just saying.

"Not Sho?" I questioned. Saïx turned to me, 'accidentally' smacking Axel in the face again.

" _Stop that!_ "

"Unfortunately," Saïx said, completely ignoring his brother.

Axel chuckled, sitting up on the counter beside Saïx, ignoring his threats to steal his game consoles ("Sai, you wouldn't know how to  _unplug_  those things."). "Whaddya mean,  _unfortunately?_ At least you can  _understand_ Van."

"Sho didn't threaten to kill Simba."

Blink, blink. "...When did he say that?"

"Today."

" _Ehhhhhh_?"

"Oh, your dog?" Oh he was  _sooooooo cute!_  Almost as adorable with Roxas and his puppy eyes. Gah! THAT WAS SO SO SO SO CUTE.

"Dad's taking him out for a walk," Axel grumbled. "This whole stupid thing is  _his_ idea –  _I_  think that ghosts is a load of garbage – and he's chickening out?"

"You would know," Saïx murmured over the loud sizzling of the pan. I nearly  _died_ at just how heavenly the smell coming from it was. "You don't even have to  _attempt_ to be a chicken."

"Damn straight!" Axel then smacked him in the shoulder. "Hey, did you just  _insult_ me?"

As much as I loved Axel, sometimes he was  _so_ dense.

I giggled, which caused Axel to suddenly turn to me, looking slightly sheepish. "Oh, Aqua! Heh, kinda forgot about you..."

"How could you?" I teased. "Blue hair?"

"Saïx has blue hair," he shot back immediately. "I swear, it's some kind of genetic freak thing;  _no one_ has natural blue hair."

"Aqua and I do," Saïx said dryly. He flipped the pancakes into the air, slapped Axel's wandering fingers, and caught the mixture easily. "I wonder the same about your hair daily, too."

Axel ran his fingers through his spikes (which I had tried to count, once, and I gave up after twenty and he  _wouldn't stop moving_ ), smirking. "Wondering 'bout how  _fabulous_ it is?"

"Somehow," I muttered. "Your ego is larger than your hair."

The two of them stared at me for a few seconds. Um.

Yay?

I shifted awkwardly on the chair. "Um..."

Saïx suddenly smirked at me before turning back to the pancakes, while Axel was perfecting his goldfish look at me.

"Have you ever seen his hair straightened, Aqua?" Saïx asked randomly. I noticed that he was now serving up the pancakes – he had three plates down already, and I could smell the  _gorgeous_ smell from here. It made my stomach rumble. Oh, yeah. Missed out on breakfast because Kairi had swiped the last banana. I'd have to get back at her for that.

"No?" I said uncertainly. Where was he going with this?

Axel was now practising his hawk look at us two. " _Don'ttellherSaïxorIswearIwillmak eyourlifealivinghell_ _Istillhaven'tforgivenNaminéfordoingthatt omewhileIwasasleep_ _._ "

"It went down to his waist," Saïx finished. "Took an hour to style back to its usual  _charming_ self." He glanced over to Axel. "And for future reference, you already  _do_ make my life, and I quote, 'a living hell'. If you were not my brother, then I would not have put you with you for as long as I have."

Axel kicked him in the ribs. "Love ya too," he muttered, jumping off the side whenever Saïx slapped his knees with the fish slice. He came over to me, sitting down on the chair closest to me (which was only about half a meter away) and pretended to look upset.

"No pancakes for you."

At that, Axel leapt up to Saïx and slapped him. I leant back in my chair, surprised.

Were they  _always_ like this? Sure, me and Kairi tended to mess around a lot... but we never got physical! Was it  _normal_ for boys to be so violent? Axel was like a demented rabbit; he kept on hopping back and forth and back and forth! Ugh, boys in general were just  _weird._ I shuffled around in my chair. "Do you two  _always_ behave like this?"

"Axel is trying to impress you," came Saïx's monotonic reply. He dumped a massive spoonful of sugar and butter onto one of the pancakes before Axel gleefully yanked it away. "And failing. Now, Aqua; do you want anything on your pancake?"

"I'm  _having_ one!?"

"Of course." He smiled,  _just_ a little little tiny bit that made the corners of his mouth twitch upwards by less than a centimetre, but I was pretty good at reading people. I smiled back, widely. "If you are a friend of Axel, then I must treat you as such."

"I  _have_ been around to your house before," I pointed out. Actually, when I really thought about it, a heck lot of the holidays so far had been at this house, especially with Axel and Xion and Saïx. "Plenty of times. I could walk around it in my sleep."

"You're getting off-topic."

Oh, uh, right. "...Do you have any jam?"

"Axel. Jam."

Axel was too busy scoffing his pancake to hear Saïx, I think. Either that, or he was ignoring him on purpose. I think it was more of the latter.

" _AXEL._ "

He finally looked up, letting loose a loud burp before sighing. "Hey, if Aqua's not havin' hers-"

"- _JAM._ "

"Yes sir!" Axel squeaked out, having rushed over to some tiny cupboard before I could even blink. "What flavour?"

"Blueberry?"

I thought I heard him scoff. "Yes, I  _know_  it's like my hair."

"Ain't my fault you have blue hair."

"You're  _really_ not doing a good job of impressing me," I said lightly, remembering what Saïx had told me earlier. "If anything, my opinion of you keeps on lowering." Well, that was a lie. The fact that he was so  _weird_ was... one of his charms? Maybe.

Axel dumped the blue jar on the table beside me and winked.

"Frankly, I wasn't aware that you  _had_ an opinion in the first place."

"Only because you're so dense that you wouldn't notice it," Saïx said, taking a seat next to Axel and biting into his own pancake. The pancakes were pretty large; I noticed that Saïx's had honey drizzled over the top of it.

Instead of slapping him, however, Axel patted Saïx on the back fondly. "Ah, but that's why I have you as a brother. To pick up on all of the little things that I'd miss."

That was when the front door slammed open.

I whirled around, expecting to see an elephant or- or  _something_ stamping through the hallway, but instead, there was a skinny man wobbling towards us, bags upon bags of shopping covering his face. His arms were pretty tanned; for  _whatever_ reason, he was wearing a white t-shirt and a tiny pair of  _shorts._

He dropped down the shopping, and then I recognized him immediately as Axel's dad.

Oh  _hell._

He wanted to pair together every single living thing in existence, despite not having a girlfriend himself; he was convinced that Saïx and Jasmine were going to have children, and as for me and Axel...

Yeah.

"Axel?" He smirked. "You didn't bring your girlfriend around  _again_?"

"D-dad!" Axel spluttered, eyes wide. "We're not-" He looked to me, helpless, before sighing. "Ugh. She's my  _friend._ "

He nodded, still smirking widely. "I'm  _sure._  Just add a girl in front of that, would you, hmm?"

This, I thought with a groan, slamming my head on the table beside the plate, was going to be a long day.


	4. Ring - Face It Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aqua thought that phoning her obsessive, bubbly, rambling, and boy-phobic sister would make her feel better. Obviously, the world doesn't work like that.

As soon as Aqua came home, she flopped herself down onto the battered bed and kicked off her high heels. They collided with the plastered wall, peeling off tatty wallpaper as they fell, but she was too busy nursing her aching soles to care. Ugh, how could people walk in them  _every day?_ They were like... like a form of  _torture!_ She'd barely managed to strut her way up the twenty fleet of stairs to the interview, and she felt so uncomfortable the whole time! Flat shoes all the way, definitely.

Axel poked his head around the bathroom door, cloudy shaving foam covering both of his hands. His jeans were falling down on him again. "Heeeeyyy, you're back early. How'd the interview go?"

She groaned, banging the back of her head against several thick history textbooks, which only added to her headache. "I started rambling on about Ven, so unless they enjoy listening about how people get rice stuck up their nose, I don't think I got the job."

He pursed his lips, looking thoughtful. "Hmm. Well, don't worry 'bout it. Heck, we're  _students_. At  _university."_ He shrugged his shoulders. _"_ Worrying about a job? Least of our problems, right? 'Sides, we could always ask-"

Oh no he was  _not_ going there. "-My mother is  _not_ going to be involved in this. She'll gloat the whole way to the bank – 'I  _told you so,_ Aqua, but  _noooo,_ you think you can do it  _all by yourself' –_  and Kairi's going to be angry and slap you because she keeps thinking that we're dating when we're not and Shiki won't be  _anything_ which is even  _worse_ and Mr. Mew does not count."

"Mr. Mew?" Axel blinked. "Do I even  _want_ to know?"

"It's complicated." She rested a book on her forehead. It was cool and heavy against her flushed skin. "Very complicated."

Axel gave a low whistle. " _Right._ Just lemme finish up here, and then we'll talk, aight? Besides, I  _was_ gonna suggest Sai, but-" He smirked. "-If you wanna be confusing, feel free."

"How am I  _confusing?"_

" _All_ girls all," he groaned to himself quietly. "Sheesh, I have enough from Larxene, and I had to practically  _grow up_ with that girl."

"You grew up with _Larxene_?"

"Like you said, it's complicated."

"Like you didn't say, you're not going to explain."

"Course not." He ducked back into the bathroom, leaving patches of bobby blue foam on the door frame. "Be out in a minute."

It was taking Axel a while in the bathroom – but then again, it  _always_ did – so she tried to pass the time by flipping her phone open and close. After the fifty-seventh flip, she decided to call Kairi.

It only took one beep before her sister picked up the phone.

" _Hey, Aqua! I thought that you didn't have enough money for credit!"_

"I have  _plenty_ of money."

" _Well, to be honest, I think the bills say otherwise."_

"Kairi."

" _I mean, I_ know  _that there's a recession and all at the moment, and when_ I'm  _going through university, and_ I  _moan to you, you're just going to laugh at me, but still. Get a job."_

"I am  _trying._ "

Axel cursed from inside the bathroom, the sound echoing along the tiled walls. "FOR THE LOVE OF-"

Aqua blocked the end from her mind.

Kairi's voice was tense.  _"Was that_ Axel?"

"He's not very skilled with a razor."

"I HEARD TH-  _OWWW!"_

"Proving my point!" Aqua shouted at him. She tried not to smirk, but then remembered that Kairi couldn't see her, so she did.

Kairi sounded surprised when she answered.  _"You have enough money for a_ razor _?"_

"Kairi, you make it sound as if we're homeless."

" _Yeah, but... well. I was under the impression that you don't have enough money for_ hair gel _."_

"We don't."

" _Oooohhhh, so is your hair just a mess of blueness? Wicked!"_

"My hair does that  _naturally._ "

" _Even with the way it spikes out_ horizontally  _at the neck?"_

"You claim that  _Sora's_ hair is natural."

" _That's because it is! Sheesh, Aqua, he's the only person who looks_ better  _after it's been slept on, not worse! It's probably got nits and stuff in it, but it looks_ soooo  _good, that I don't think it really matters, because honestly, apart from Riku – but he's just_ Riku – _who would_ want _to touch his hair? I swear, someone would easily impale their hand through it, and that's because there's probably a-"_

Axel swung his head around again, his chin now spotting several fresh cuts, along with one on his forehead. Aqua didn't dare ask. "Finished talking to your sis?"

She waved a hand impatiently, covering the microphone of her mobile. "In a  _minute._ "

"Coming from the person who wouldn't let me phone Saïx because it  _uses up too many minutes."_

"We are  _struggling_ for money."

"And again, if you talked to your mom-"

"- _Never_ ," she hissed angrily, sending Axel a quick glare before lifting her hand off the speaker.

Kairi was still happily rambling on.  _"_ _And_ then _, whenever Sora dragged me outside, there were these two kids – one of them had_ green  _hair, and the other guy's nose nearly poked my eyes out, and I was at the_ opposite end of the count – _along with a giant rollercoaster. Oh, oohhhhhh, and-"_

"-Kairi."

" _...Yeah?"_

"I hate to inform you, but Axel's finished attempting to shave."

"Whadda mean,  _attempting?_ "

Aqua jabbed at the cuts on his chin. "That."

He raised a hand up to where Aqua was poking, grinning sheepishly. "Oh. Uh."

" _So you have to go?"_ Kairi asked, sounding upset.  _"But we've barely been talking!"_

"Recession," Aqua offered wearily. "Bills. Mortgage. An interest rate of one half. All of the things that grown-ups have to deal with."

" _But you're only four years older than me!"_

She smiled a little. "Don't worry, you'll see. Look out for Shiki-"

" _-Who's a year_ older  _than me-"_

"-Who is actually  _ten months older_  and carries a stuffed teddy bear around because it reminds her of Dad."

From the other end, Kairi cleared her throat. Right. She shouldn't have mentioned Dad.  _"...Okay."_ Kairi's voice was tight.  _"A_ _-a_ _nything else?"_

"If anyone tries to bully her, slap them."

Her voice suddenly leapt back to its usual bubbly self. " _So I can slap Neku?"_

Aqua laughed, both at Kairi's comment, and at Axel's attempt to clean himself up with the antiseptic wipes, as he was busy smearing it across his whole face. "If you want to get on Sora's bad side, sure."

" _Does Sora even_ have _a bad side?_ "

"If you hit his brother, then yes, he might."

" _But Neku's her boyfriend!"_

"Kairi, you can't hit every single male person that shows a vague interest in Shiki. Goodness knows how many times you'll have to hit Riku."

She heard spluttering on the other end.  _"Wait,_ what!?"

"He took her to a café on  _Valentine's Day."_

" _...I am going to KILL HIM! HE_ KNOWS _THAT I DON'T WANT HIM TO DO THAT BUT- Hey hey hey. How the heck would_ you _know?"_

"I have my ways."

" _AQUA."_

Her phone suddenly beeped, reminding her that she was on her last minute before credit ran out. Great. "Love you loads, Kairi. Stay safe, look after yourself, and  _don't_ tell anyone about our financial situation. We're going to see if Axel's father can help out."

" _But sis-"_

"-We'll be fine." She pitched her nose. "Look, if all else fails, we'll go to Mother."

" _Promise?"_

"Promise. Bye, love you."

" _Bye!_ "

She heard a click on the other end, and quickly locked the phone, trying to ignore the wallpaper of her whole family squeezed together into an awkward position. Axel was sitting on his own bed opposite hers, looking at her strangely.

"So. We're gonna rely on Dad now?"

Aqua was surprised at the bitterness in his voice. "Well... didn't you offer?"

"Yeah, but-" He ran a hand over his face, wincing when he reached his chin. "- _Ugh._ Is it really  _that_ hard to admit to your mom that you need help?"

"Yes," she snapped, running her hands impatiently over her phone. "Yes, it is."

" _Why?_ " He sighed, looking exhausted. The heavy bags underneath his eyes were suddenly very noticeable, and to be honest, he'd –  _somehow –_  been dropping more weight. She felt her heart twinge. "Pride?"

" _No_." How could he even  _suggest_ such a thing? "It's... complicated."

Axel gave a wistful chuckle, voice icy. "Ain't gonna say, huh? Okay. That's cool."

"Look. It's..." She sighed, flopping back onto her creaking bed again. "...My mother, she's...  _you know._ "

Suddenly, he threw his arms up in the air. "Actually, I don't know, but woo who, go us. At this rate, we're not gonna even graduate."

" _Axel!_ " She stood up. "We  _will_ , if it the last thing that I do."

Axel buried his face into his pillow. "Awwfua."

"Is not my name."

"Fuuuddd."

She took his mumbled request as wanting food, so she opened up her drawer and scrounged around for some loose change. After a struggle, she managed to find enough for a small pizza. "I'm going to order a pizza."

He flashed her a small thumbs up, lifting his head up from the pillow. "Thanks."

Just as she was about to make the call – calls to the pizza place were free, thankfully – she suddenly remembered something important. "Hey, have you done the essay due for tomorrow? We do have  _Doctor Cid_ for the Keyblade War project, right?"

To his credit, Axel lifted his head up again before letting out an inhuman groan. Aqua ignored the long string of curses that quickly followed. "Well, it's a good thing I did a second one for you, isn't it?"

This time, Axel rolled over to stare at her. "What."

"You've been worried a lot, haven't you?" When Axel didn't reply, she gave a hesitant smile. "And I'm sorry about not telling my mother – I really am- and yes, maybe some of it  _is_ pride, but... I'm scared, as well, that she'll be cross or angry or... or  _something._ "

The redhead sat up in the bed, stretching out his lanky limbs. "Then we'll face it later, aight? I'll phone Dad tomorrow, see if he couldn't drop off some of my bank money to us, then we'll find a part-time job, and just work from there." He scratched the back of his neck, glancing down. "...Sorry 'bout earlier. I didn't... well, I  _did_ , 'cause I still think you're being stupid with your mom and all, but hey, I'm not experienced with mothers, it's your kettle of fish."

"You really suck at apologizing."

His face fell. "No need to rub it in!" Then he grinned. "It's just good that the rest of my  _amazing_ personality makes up for it, huh?"

Aqua gave him a small smile as she dialled the final digit. "You tell yourself that."


	5. We - A Handy Guide of Ivalice by the Dashing Sky Pirates Axel and Saïx, Part Who-Knows: How Not to Traverse Through the Salikawood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Crossover with Final Fantasy XII- So! Ever got trapped in the Salikawood? Unsure of what to do with all of the cute bunnies and mushrooms that seem to be everywhere? Any King Bombs getting in your way? Don't read this guide; the six dashing protagonists (by the way only Saïx and I are dashing) handle everything in the worst way possible.

"Your Majesty," Aqua gritted out between her teeth, looking ready to grab the princess by the throat and choke out all of her vital organs sans one. For a knight, Saïx thought dryly, she wasn't exactly all that honourable. "We must rest."

"Aww, does little bittle Naminé need a rest?" came the mocking reply. The girl in question – a tiny thing with hair of ash blonde and electric blue eyes – looked surprised, but then almost angry as Larxene continued to speak. "Well, too bad, because us grown-ups need to do grown-up things!"

"Hey, I'm a kid," Sora objected.

"Really?" she sneered. "I thought you were a fetus."

"A... what?"

"Never mind that, a cell."

If Axel wasn't here, then Saïx would have long since given up on their misfit group of commoners and nobility. Hell, he wouldn't even be anywhere near them, if it wasn't for Axel's relentless whining about needing the money. Not that they actually did; there just happened to be two orphans on the outskirts of Dalmasca who Axel insisted on feeding every time they walked past (and it was many a time). It was eating out of their funds like how Luxord's Grim Reaper ate munny, but Axel either didn't know or didn't care. Saïx just wanted him to go and adopt them already.

"We're twenty," was Axel's deadpan answer.

"Twenty  _is_ old enough to be an adult, you idiot!" Larxene screeched. "Ugh,  _why_ I am doing this?"

"Your  _Majesty_ -"

"And who knows how old Aqua is? I'm gonna say thirty."

"Axel," Saïx hissed at the same moment that said woman completely took a flip at him.

"I am  _not_ thirty!"

"Twenty-nine?"

Bristled silence.

"Oh, was I too close for comfort?"

"Nowhere. Near."

"Axel and I will retire for the night." Saïx punctuated this on heavily pulling on Axel's arm, trying to drag him away, not to actually retire, but to get away before Aqua decided to launch a Stormfall quickening at them and soak them into the next year. Axel, however, never had been one who took blatantly obvious hints. "We. Will. RETIRE."

"Dude, we'll long be dead before we ever see any hope of retiring."

"Axel."

Axel grinned at him. "But we need to know Aqua's age... it's gonna bug me forever, got it-"

"-TWENTY-TWO!" Aqua screeched, then quietly coughed and rubbed at her throat. "Say that 'catchphrase' again, and I will carve out a new trachea for you."

"Ohhh, two throats. Double the trouble! Can you do that?"

"What's a trachea?" Saïx head Sora whisper to Naminé. The girl gave a silent shrug, sighed, and glanced back to them. "Man, I feel left out sometimes."

"Me too."

"Wanna play 'Spy the Monster'?"

"Yeah!"

"I spy a crown..."

"King Malboro?"

"...Yeah."

Axel finally seemed to notice that Aqua had told them her age. "Whoa, whoa! Twenty-two?  _What_!? Holy cows woman, you need some of that stuff that those rabbit chicks always use."

"Viera," Saïx deadpanned. "By the  _gods_."

"They should be gods," Axel muttered. Saïx smacked him on the back of the neck. "Oi!"

"A knight does not worry over trivial matters such as appearance," was Aqua's reply, as stiff as her armour. "I live to serve Her Majesty."

"Which you are not doing as I have asked for a Curaga spell about TWENTY TIMES."

Aqua sent Larxene the worst Cure spell that Saïx had ever seen, complete with an expression that screamed boredom, not even bothering to raise her sword towards the princess. It made him and Axel snigger a little. " _Now_ may we rest, Your Highness?"

"We are in the Salikawood, knightly slave. Have you not seen all of those disgusting mushrooms and rabbits? I'm not staying anywhere near them, Sora would befriend them all in five seconds, and then we'd never make it out of there without an army of furry friends, which I  _really_ don't want." Larxene's expression turned thoughtful. "Actually, they'd make a feast of a meal..."

Saïx wanted them all to immediately leave the Salikawood. Axel looked as equally disgusted, while Aqua just sighed.

"Hey, guys!" Sora yelled.

Four furious heads whipped around to him, responses ranging from "Yeah?" to "My gods  _what_?". Naminé just looked quietly resigned at her fate of forever being Sora's best friend.

"It says on this signpost that further access is prohibited – whatever that is – because there's a King Bomb in the wood."

"A King Bomb!?" Axel asked, horrified. "Whoa hoa screw you we're outta here." Saïx remembered the time that a stray King Bomb had nearly blown their airship apart when Axel sneezed on top of it while it was sleeping, and shivered. Never again.

Aqua groaned. "We have to go back."

Larxene immediately exploded. "We are NOT going back to that Highwaste hell! Precious Flamesilocks couldn't bear to have his special wecial hair hurt by the big bad birdies."

"Dude, they wouldn't stop assaulting me! Even Sora's Lure spell failed!"

"That is  _not_ how you speak to a princess!"

"Well, you hardly act like one!"

"You little-"

"It's the hair," Aqua said. "Hair as bright and... and as  _spiky_ as that monstrosity are bound to draw attention."

"You have blue hair! At least red is vaguely normal! Blue is... what the hell?"

"Ahem."

"Sorry, Seesaw."

" _Seesaw!?_ " Larxene said in disbelief at the same moment that Saïx quietly groaned and began to plot his best friend's newest 'accident'.

"Couldn't we try and defeat it?" Naminé asked quietly, ducking her head down when Larxene glared the rage of a thousand daggers at her. Counting down Axel's Mama Bear Mode in three, two, one...

"Course we can! What's the worst that could happen?"

"We all die."

"Ah, Aqua, don't be such a worry-wart!" He threw an arm around the woman's shoulder, which caused her to tease up before slyly ducking away from him. "We'll be fine! Sai and I have smashed one up before."

"Have you, now?" Larxene said slowly, a wicked smirk in place. "Then it'd be no bother for you simply  _dashing_ sky pirates to smash it up again, right?"

"Oh yes we-  _waiiitttt._ "

" _What_?"

"You're flirting with us, meaning that you want us to undertake some impossible task that will most likely result in a very painful and brutal death.  _Somehow_ , I don't fancy that. Got it memo-"

"She wants us to take out the King Bomb alone," Saïx interrupted, sensing Aqua's mood darkening with every word Axel spoke of his catchphrase, and, given that it was only two and a half words, it was a truly remarkable achievement. "So say no."

"Saïx says to say no, so I will say no."

"Hey!" Sora chirped in with a huge grin. "Why don't all six of us work together? We're friends, right?"

"No."

"No."

"No."

" _No_."

"Well, we are, so as long as we work together as a team, we can do this!" He pumped his fists together. "So let's go!" Without a word, he took out his weapon – which he insisted was a Keyblade, the weapon spoken of in myths of old, but to Saïx, only looked like a giant child's key – and charged in to exactly where the sign said not to go. Naminé followed a few seconds later with a frantic cry of "Sora you can't beat it alone wait!" as she pulled out her spear, leaving the four alone.

Saïx was not surprised to see Axel take his weapons out and begin running, but was (pleasantly) surprised when Aqua quickly followed him, barking out orders to his partner. Saïx glanced to Larxene, wordlessly nodded, and swept out his claymore before charging in after them.

**.:.:.:.**

Needless to say, they got their bottoms handed to them on a silver platter.

Axel had the worst health of them all, despite being the third-oldest (and tallest by a good few inches), so when he wasn't knocked flat down on the ground, he was spamming off Cure spells as if they were going out of fashion. As well as that, Naminé continued to cast Raise spells on them all (and Sora took over when she was also out of commission) until she dropped face-first into the moist greenery of the Salikawood, simply too exhausted to carry on. Larxene was being surprisingly useful, taking out many of the smaller Bombs with her knives, while Aqua was casting Wateras and Watergas everywhere that Saïx could see, leaving him with the responsibility of protecting the children and Axel (although it wouldn't be a far stretch to include him in the former).

He blocked a blast of fire from the King Bomb to allow Naminé to pick herself up again, her face dashed with a peppering of flowers and moss. She wiped it off quickly with a grimace. "S-sorry."

"Just get back into the fight."

She nodded, dashing off with a battle roar... and promptly got smacked back again into the trees.

Saïx groaned.

"Yo, Sai!"

He whirled to face Axel, who was grinning at him even as he dived and weaved past the King Bomb's furious flames. "Quickening sound good to you?"

"...Yes, actually." Gods, how did they not think of that sooner? He would scold himself later, when their lives were not on the line. "Aqua! We need a quickening!"

The knight nodded at them, dashing out of the way of another Triple Firaga to land beside them. "The order?"

"Aqua!" Larxene shouted. "Curaga!  _Aqua!_ "

"Later, Your Majesty!" Sora was already there at the princess' side.

"Ah, like it matters! I'll start, sure."

"Very well then."

And that was when the King Bomb let out a shriek before roaring away, exploding into a puff of ashes when it crashed into the support of a bridge nearby. The support creaked at the impact, then tumbled down into a gaping abyss that led further than the eye could see. Something exploded a few seconds later, most likely the King Bomb meeting his fiery fate.

"Useful," Saïx said when it was obvious that no one else planned on speaking.

Axel, as he had predicted, placed his hands onto his hips and half-heartedly glared at him. "Ah, whaddya  _mean_ useful? Sai, we didn't have our big moment! Honestly!"

Sora and Naminé exchanged high-fives while grinning, and Larxene looked livid as Aqua jogged over to her.

"Are you alright, Your Maj-"

"WHERE WAS MY CURE!?"

"Curaga, actually."

"STILL WASN'T HERE, WAS IT? I had to rely on that  _brat_ to help me,  _honestly,_ Aqua."

"Hey, this  _brat_  finished the King Bomb off!" Sora declared, chest puffed as he swung his Keyblade over his shoulder. "And me and Naminé did most of the fighting!"

"Well done, so you're not nearly as useless as we all thought you would be." Both Naminé and Sora grinned at Larxene. "But you're still like fish on dry land, honestly –  _stop_ that!"

"I really need to stop dying," Axel moaned self-deprecatingly while the other four chattered along themselves. He wiped at his face, which had tatters of moss and grass splattered like paint. Saïx shook his head.

"You did fine."

"Yeah, I did  _fine_ , you were just Mister McCool again, kicking bottom in all your finery without saying a word."

"Finery?"

"You wear some crazy stuff, my friend." But Axel's grin was back again, so he must have been feeling better. "I mean, hello, pink potholder?"

"It offers support."

"How does a – ya know what, never mind." He clamped Saïx firmly on the back, grin melted into a warm smile. He chuckled, a strange but oddly fond look on his face when he glanced over to Saïx, before shaking his head. "Hey, let's catch up to them, before Larxene takes a fit and storms off."

"Yes, we should."

"Hey, guys, it says here that the Phon Coast's to the east, not the north! 'Go back if you're looking for the Phon Coast'."

"...What," Aqua said flatly.

"Sora, you better be lying," Larxene threatened. "Or I'll rip you a new ribcage."

"I think we defeated that King Bomb for nothing," Naminé said, and it looked like she was laughing to herself. "We were going the wrong way the whole time."

"WHAT?"

"Your Majesty, calm down, it's-"

"Hell if I'm calming down! I got my cloak burnt for  _nothing_!"

"It's gonna be a long night," Axel said with a heavy sigh, though he was still grinning. "I'm off to set up camp for the night. Come on." He stalked off into the night, and wordlessly, Saïx followed.


	6. Swimming - All Knotted Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Loose crossover with Free!- The fact that all of the men are in their thirties will not stop Olette from ogling over them. Vexen just wants to leave. Lexaeus isn't letting him.

"Oh oh oh-  _look at that!_ "

"Olette!" Kairi slapped her hands over her friend's eyes, gently steering her away from the swimming pool stands. "They're in their  _thirties_."

"Yeah, but-" She squirmed out of Kairi's firm grasp, then swooned as another man ripped off his shirt with no effort at all. "Look at that six-pack!"

"We're drawing attention!"

"Six-pack..."

Kairi hesitantly glanced towards the small crowd of men and grimaced. "More like a zero-pack. Come on, we're late!"

"Fine, I'm coming!" Olette took a picture on her phone before darting off to join her friend.

* * *

Vexen was getting ticked off. Again. Lexaeus would have ignored his moanings by now, if it weren't for the fact that he had a tendency to 'accidentally' set the school's library on fire each and every time someone annoyed him. Unfortunately, he got mad at least twice a minute.

"There are  _girls_ swooning over us again," he was ranting furiously, waving his hands about as he struggled to take off his shirt. " _Girls._ Why, I should take them all and operate to see if they have brains or not."

"The horror," Lexaeus said.

Zexion chuckled behind his hand as he waited for him and Lexaeus to finish changing. "Then don't come to the swimming class. It really isn't a difficult theory to put into practice."

"The  _only_ reason that I am here, you little brat, is because that oaf called Lexaeus insists upon my attending this each week." He shrugged off his trousers; both Lexaeus and Zexion winced and looked away until he was done. When he was, and had on a pair of dark blue swimming shorts, Lexaeus turned back with a shrug.

"The man would wilt away into bone otherwise."

"His skin  _is_  an identical colour to bone..."

"I do  _plenty_ of exercise, thank you very much. Humph! Walking to and from the school building takes a good five minutes, and that's twice a day."

"Ten minutes of exercise is clearly the difference between obesity and anorexia," Zexion snarked.

Lexaeus laughed when Vexen snarled at them before storming off.

"My, my, such a temper." Zexion shrugged. "I only offered him advice."

"Old age."

"Now, Lexaeus, he's only a few years older than yourself."

Lexaeus's reply was cut off when Xaldin's head popped through the door, snarling at them to hurry up, lest practise be cancelled.

It wouldn't really, but being the drama teacher did tend to make one rather dramatic in all things, hence the name. Unfortunately, as the teacher of sports, alongside Xigbar, he wouldn't really have known.

But details.

Their swimming club was exclusive to teachers, and had been invented by, of all people, Demyx and Luxord. Apparently it involved a bet, strip poker, and curtain poles; somehow, in a couple of weeks, all but three teachers had been dragged into the team (Axel would probably dissolve in water, and Saix flat out refused to join. Larxene was a female, so she was out automatically). Zexion joined to see if he could discover anything useful (and because Demyx had blackmail of the one time that Zexion had gotten horribly drunk), Lexaeus followed because the boy had an ability to break his bones without even trying, and he soon brought Vexen with him for the sake of amusement. Also, the man needed to get out more.

"All right!" Demyx hollered from atop one of the swimming podiums. He was still smaller than most of the swimmers. "Today we're gonna  _sweat!_ "

"As we do every class," Xaldin said.

Demyx stuck out his tongue. "Boo, like it matters! Motivational; not that  _you'd_ know, freaky sideburns."

"What did you say?"

"N-nothing!"

"Now, now, let's all just calm down." Luxord punctuated this by slapping a hand over Demyx's whimpering mouth. "Go to your respective podiums. We'll work on our individual events, then a rely."

"If we ever  _do_ a rely. As if!"

"Xigbar, be quiet." When no one moved, Luxord gave a soft sigh and shrugged. "Well? The Fates don't plan on waiting all day."

"The Fates don't exist, that's why!" Demyx smacked the man over the head. "Stop being stupid!"

" _Demyx_. Everyone, podiums!"

Lexaeus grabbed Vexen's wrist and dragged him over to the breaststroke podium. Although he himself was best at backstroke, there was something eerie about not being able to look at the water while swimming in it, and he quickly gave the duty of main backstroke swimmer to a reluctant Marluxia, who kept insisting that he should be able to do whatever stroke he pleased. No one ever listened to him. Having pink hair tended to have that kind of effect on people ("It's not pink," he would insist, "it's  _strawberry blonde_ , like my sisters!").

Not that Lexaeus was one to talk about appearances. He had all of the sexual attraction of a dead bear.

"Bah!  _Why_  I am here!?"

And Vexen was about as pretty as a boneless skeleton.

"Because you walked here."

Vexen gave him a withered look, shoved a stopwatch into his hands, and grabbed the edge of the podium as he lowered himself into the water. From a few lanes across, Lexaeus heard Demyx wailing about how cold the water was; Zexion was snickering at it, as both were involved in free style.

"Ready?"

"Hurry up!"

"Get set."

"I  _am_ set, you mither-"

"Go!"

Vexen yelped and dove into the pool with the grace of a drowning butterfly. He came up, spluttering, but quickly regained his form and began to swim towards the opposite end of the pool. Lexaeus sat down on the edge of the pool, and a short while later, felt Vexen slam the wall as he shot up for breath.

"Most- most certainly  _not_ my best!"

"Four seconds worse than last week. Not your worst, but not your best, either."

"I could have worked that out  _easily_ , you fool." Still, Vexen took Lexaeus's hand to help pull himself up onto the pool's edge. "Ah, now I need a towel."

"You want one."

"No, I quite clearly  _need_ one, all of this moisture cannot be good for my skin."

Lexaeus turned away to grab a towel, hiding the smug smile on his face, lest Vexen take off into yet another rant. Then, just to further annoy the man, he wiped his face with it before handing the towel to Vexen.

"You cannot expect me to use that? Your germs! They have to be- UGH!" He snatched the towel and furiously wiped at his face, before swiping the stopwatch off of Lexeaus' hands. "Get swimming, you massive troll!"

"Hardly an inventive insult." He smirked at Vexen's incredulous cries, lowering himself down just as Demyx stormed over to them, yelling for not hurrying up and talking too much and being lazy.

Like he was really one to talk.

"Get going!" Vexen snarled. "I've already started the thing!"

He dove in, felt the water cover then splash away from him, and began to swim.

From just outside the pool, both Olette and Kairi sighed dreamily.


	7. Boy - Encounters of the Foody Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Olette is waiting for Kairi to show up at the library, she ends up choking on a sweet and meeting the world's most depressing librarian. Probably.

Kairi was late to the library again, most likely being taken up by a bunch of boys processing their intense and undying 'love' towards her while Olette hid out in the darkest corner and hoped that the librarian didn't catch her munching on a packet of Hume Hats. The only reason that people liked Kairi was because her hair was natural auburny-red... if such a shade even existed. It was pretty neat, though.

Nibbling on a Fran-flavoured bite, she yanked a book from the shelf at random and flicked it open. Images of bugs in  _way_ too much detail was all she could see for pages. She slammed it shut, wincing at the loud sound along the silence. Then, she heard marching.

Towards her.

Olette choked on her sweet as she shoved the book back, gagging still when inky-blue hair peeped around the shelf's corner. She held in a breath, gagged again, and when she'd almost finished coughing the sweet down:

"Can I have one?"

"W-what?" She winced at the high-pitched squeak, thumped her chest, and shook her head. "Um, a-aren't you the librarian?"

His visible eye twitched. "Not usually."

Oh, it was Zexion, who for some bizarre reason, hated his last name, and looked younger than most of the first years. "You're not?"

"History and arts teacher," he droned. "Luxord is 'sick'."

She grinned and ducked her head at his deadpan tone. "Oh, yeah, he is..." How did she forget someone with that many piercings?

"Well?" Olette glanced up to see Zexion wiggle his pale fingers. "I did ask."

"I could say no."

He blinked. "You could, but I could also report you to Xehanort and have you expelled for not obeying a teacher's command." A faint smirk creased his lips. "I think we all know how he gets."

" _Fine_." She made sure to pick out the worst one; Vossler, which tasted like someone had mixed their earwax and snort together before painting it in a thick layer of goo, according to Hayner. Then again, he hated anything that wasn't sour. "Here ya go."

"The worst flavour." His eyebrows lifted. "What a kind pupil."

"You didn't ask for a flavour, did ya?"

"I  _could_ also report you for harassment."

"Pardon?"

He looked ridiculously smug as he sat down cross-legged opposite her. If he wasn't a teacher (somehow!), Olette would have long since given him a good knee in the leg. As it was, he could get her expelled, and Mum was ready annoyed at them having to move in the last year. She bit her lip, and listened. "You know fully well. You and your friend Kairi often watch us swim."

"Well, you've got a good front crawl!"

Zexion started, having clearly been caught. Olette mentally celebrated her small victory. "You stalk us enough to know our strokes?"

"Well, I know everyone's stroke."

"Do you not find that startling?"

"Luxord caught his cold from staying too long in the pool doing butterfly, didn't he?"

"You're aren't-" He swung his head away from her with a huff. "-I could still report you."

"You won't really." She leant back on her hands, grinning when she heard Kairi's humming. She turned the corner and her mouth fell open. Olette winked when Zexion wasn't looking; Kairi, thankfully, grinned back at her and tiptoed away. "I'm sure that Xehanort is a very busy man."

His voice rose. "Not busy enough to-!" He flushed when the library's chatter fell silent. When the noise continued again, he sighed, shaking his head warily. "Give me a sweet, any sweet, and we shall never speak of this again."

Olette handed him another Vossler.

"I hate you." He got up with a huff and stalked away.

Kairi stormed around the corner and flopped down beside a grinning Olette.

"Sorry I'm late! Riku needed help in finding his ballet class since it got moved and he didn't know where the notifications board was and then people tried to hit on him 'cause of the hair and stuff and I had to make a way through and  _ahhh_!" She pulled at her hair. "He drives me batty!" Curiosity entered her eyes as she shifted closer. "But you and Zexion? What happened there?"

Olette handed her a sweet and began, "well, I kinda choked on one of these, and he heard me, and threatened to report me, and... I think I freaked him out with how much I knew about him."

"You mean about his swimming?"

"Yeah, same thing!"

They both laughed, then Olette realised something. "Hey, actually, I've gotta take out a book."

Kairi looked dubious. "Are you  _sure?_  You just wanna annoy Zexion more, don't you?"

She chuckled. "Well, maybe, but Miss Hitomi wanted us to get a book for our next Japanese class. Says it helps a lot in understanding how it's wrote."

"Does it now?"

"Kairi!"

She giggled, tilting her head to the side and grinning. "Only kiddin'. I need to get a book out for Lea as well, he'd never read otherwise."

"Kairi, he ain't a kid."

She stuck her tongue out. "Might as well be!"

"One year older." She raised her eyebrow.

Kairi waved her hands, laughing sheepishly. "Right, right, I'll see ya at the door."

"Sure!"

Olette grabbed her book, which happened to be on the other side of the library and behind a duo of boys snoring their sorry butts off. After she got it, she headed up to the counter, grinning when she spotted Zexion stamping dates of return on several books that the girl in front of her had loaned out. When he was finished, he gave the blonde a small smile, and she scuttled off into the sofa to begin reading them. The smile melted as soon as Olette slid her book over to him.

"Yo."

"Good  _afternoon_." He snatched the book off her.

"How was the sweet?"

His fingers paused on the computer's keypad. "Disgusting. As you've most likely already guessed."

"Hmm, well, you did ask for one, Mister Zexion."

" _Zexion_ by itself."

"Okay, Mister."

It was strange, she thought almost smugly as Zexion's eyes bore holes into the desk; she wasn't usually this mean to people, much less  _teachers_. Hayner must have been rubbing off on her. She frowned at the thought. Man, that was the  _last_ thing he needed.

"Return it by the twentieth," he said gruffly as he slid it back to her. "Or I will report you to Xehanort."

"No bother!"

She turned around to leave when she heard tapping on the desk. "If you see Demyx, tell him that I'm in the school gardens." A pause. "Actually, make that anyone save Lexeaus and Vexen."

"What, he stalking you or something?"

She meant it as an innocent question, only remembering what happened earlier when he ducked his head behind the computer screen. "You could say that."

"All right, sure. Have a good day, Zexion!"

"...You too."

She opened the library doors, waved her book over the sensors which whined every single time someone brought a book, scanned or not, anywhere near it, and came face-to-face with Kairi talking with the music teacher.

"...So, hey, see Zexy anywhere?"

Kairi frowned. "Zexion?"

Demyx clapped his hands, long mullet flopping over the sides of his face. "Yeah, Zexy! You seen him? I need to talk to him 'bout doing this paperwork for me."

Kairi frowned even more. "No offence, Mister, but you really should do your own work."

"Nah, he doesn't mind! C'mon girl, please, lunch time's nearly over! Vexen'll have my head and shave off the hair!" The next part was a whisper, "anything but the  _hair!_ "

"He's in the gardens," Olette interrupted, winking at Kairi when she sighed in resignation.

"Which gardens?"

At this, they both were lost. "Huh?"

"The ones that Marluxia will scythe me open if I go near, or the one that Luxord makes that gigantic mega annoying hedge maze out of, or the one that's actually half normal?"

"Luxord's," Kairi said, trying to hide her grin behind her hand.

"You kiddin' me!?" He let out a wail. "Man, thank BowieI don't have a class first thing! I'd be fired!" He grinned at them, then bolted off in a heavy jog. "Thanks, kids!"

As soon as Demyx had turned the corner, Kairi was fuming. "He tried to get someone else to do his work! A  _teacher_! He's not even a good teacher; I got an ungraded in my music exam last year!" She stomped her foot. "I hope he gets lost in there for a  _long_ time!"

"Uh, yeah, me too."

"Ugh! C'mon, we've got lockers to go to!" Kairi didn't stop muttering for the whole journey, and Olette just hoped that she'd get something to make up for helping out a teacher in need.

Who she didn't even like.

She sighed.


	8. Demyx Magic 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For crying out loud, he's meant to be her teacher. Not the other way around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The third title isn't relevant but I love it so volia. You no want? You have.  
> Yes, Demyx has a high magic stat in Days but -waggles fingers- that means that his magic is powerful, not necessarily that he's good at learning it or knows lots of different kinds. I think. It makes sense in my head, so it probably makes zero sense to anyone else.  
> Zexion was the one who found Larxene and she promptly electrocuted the heckle out of him and he's been terrified of her ever since FIGHT ME IT'S TRUE.  
> Everyone's probably OOC but -throws hands in the air- who cares man. Who. Cares. I'm too old to care.  
> (I'm sixteen.)

“So, um. What spell are we working on?”  
Larxene frowned, and you could pretty much see the sparks coming off her ears. Demyx gulped. Holy Light, that was yet another reason why he really, really didn't want to train her.  
Saïx totally had emotions, he thought with a grumble. Sadist X-faced jerk who wouldn't let him do recon; oh no, let's go and get the worst member battle-wise to train the new recruit. Lexaeus was the physical ace, Zexion was the magical whiz, but when Demyx had gone to the pair of them pleading, they'd just stared at him.  
Which, you know, made sense, with the whole 'having-no-emotions' thing all of them had going on, but it was still annoying!  
Was he getting annoyed, or was he annoyed due to his memories of when he got annoyed?  
Ugh, who cared! He was training Larxene – miserable, deadly, bloodthirsty Larxene – and that was all he needed to know.  
“Well,” she snapped out. “If you don't know, then how am I meant to know, Einstein?”  
“Uh, well, you've used magic before, right?”  
“Then why am I being trained on it?”  
“Um.”  
Larxene smacked her hands on her hips. It was a terrifying gesture that his mother used to always do when she was annoyed (which was... quite often), and now Larxene was doing it.  
Larxene.  
Welp. There went another happy memory.  
“Oh, I know,” she cooed with a sudden sickly grin, stretching out the last word. Uh oh, he was in trouble.  
“K-know what?”  
“We forget all of this and just go back!” She pointed her finger at him. “Tell Scarface that I mastered it in record time, then I won't have to use you for thunder practice.”  
Another reason why he really shouldn't have been training her. She specialised in thunder. The stuff that, you know, was really strong against water. He shivered. “Y-yeah, but you still can't use fire-”  
“Then why isn't Axel teaching me, huh?”  
Demyx waved his hands up. “How am I meant to know!? Just, uh, just get the hang of fire and we'll call it a day.” He was pretty sure that was not the spell he was meant to be teaching her, but honestly? Who cared?  
“Oh, will we, now?” Larxene rolled her eyes in a huge circle. “I'm so glad to know that.”  
“Can we just get this done with!?” he squeaked out.  
Larxene stood up straight. “All right, all right. So. How does it work, genius?”  
It was hard to describe, really – he hated fire, more than he hated Saïx and blueberry muffins and bugs of any kind. “You hafta imagine it... I think?”  
She snorted. “You think?” she echoed in a squeaky, mocking voice. “Wow, that's new.”  
“H-hey! Dunno if you've forgotten, but I'm your su-per-i-or.”  
“Well, then, start acting like it.”  
Demyx grit his teeth. “All right! Fire's all big and scary, but – that's not all of it! You have to imagine all parts of it; its warmth and kindness and comfort.”  
Larxene arched a blonde eyebrow. “Thrilling description there.”  
“Look,” he muttered. “I don't like it myself, but I'm trying!” He cupped a hand to his forehead. “Sheesh...”  
“Humph. So I've gotta bring up my memories of fire?”  
He nodded. “Yup! Then, imagine it in your hands, your body, and imagine sending it out. Like – poof!” With the noise, he conjured a tiny ball of fire in his hand and flung it sky high. It caught on the leaf of a tree and spluttered out, but not before a cat had screeched and scuttled out of the branches.  
A leaf landed on his hair. He shook his head. “Pfft!”  
“Brilliant work,” Larxene said. “Scaring off Twilight Town's grand population of cats. Seeing your face would be enough, you know.”  
“Shut up!” he snapped out. “C''mon, I know you're good at magic. Just do it.”  
“Thanks for the support.” Still, Larxene screwed her eyes shut – man, she had long eyelashes – and held out her left hand. She murmured something to herself, and then flames erupted in her palm. With a grin, she clenched her hand shut, bright embers and ash evaporating around her fist.  
Demyx stared. Oh, man, that was so unfair. It had taken him a month to learn fire spells, and that was with (a very reluctant) Axel helping him out. So! Unfair!  
“Okay, okay! That was good!” He held up a hand to stop Larxene speaking – not that it would have had any effect on her, obviously, but a guy had to look impressive. “Buuuut – can you do a shield of fire?”  
“And I would ever need to know that because..?”  
“If someone comes stabbing at you and you don't have time to get out of the way, then-” He shut his eyes and imagined the flames all around, not attacking him, but protecting him, their warmth and security fostering him, like a fetus inside a womb. Okay, weird simile, but details. He opened his eyes just as flames roared and towered in a tight circle around him, reaching an impressive height before they faded. “-Taadaa!” Okay, wow, that was cool. They'd never gone that high for him before. Even Larxene looked a little impressed, so it had to have been amazing. “Like that. Well, not as tall as that, probably, but... eh.”  
“I'll never need to know that,” Larxene said with another vicious eye roll. “Let's just get back. By how long it took you to do that? I'd have you on the floor, crying for mercy.”  
Oh, man, he did not like the look in her eyes. Also, she actually had a valid point – not that he'd ever tell her, otherwise she'd be crowing about it for years to come.  
“Well,” he said with a small huff. “Blame Axel.”  
“Sure, just blame him for everything.”  
Demyx clapped his hands together. “Anyway! Mission completed! And I don't think this is one of those missions where Saïx hides several thousand goodies and Heartless afterwards, instead of, y'know, during the actual mission, so we can RTC!”  
“I'm so glad.”  
“Aww, c'mon, I'm thrilled my teaching's so fab, but we don't actually have hearts to be glad with.” He held out his hand, and a dark corridor swirled to life. It was still surreal, like something out of a superhero movie. And totally awesome. “I'd say ladies first, but you're really not a lady.”  
Larxene snorted and strolled past him anyway. “Like I'd want to be one.”  
An odd urge hit him. Demyx spread a hand on her arm and pushed with all his strength. It wasn't much, but it was enough to send her sprawling with a yelp. Grinning, he closed the portal just as she was turning around, fury shining on her face.  
He pumped his fist. Critical hit!  
He whizzed up another dark corridor, its intended location far, far away from where they were originally headed. Like, at the other end of the castle far.  
Ah, well. Saïx would understand.  
Hopefully.


	9. Marshmallow - Odd Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel's as an early bird as early birds can early, but Lexaeus is infamous for always being late; the one morning that Axel sleeps in, he finds out why Lexaeus never joins them on time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was gonna be Axel and Larxene but then; I thought of Lexaeus. Yeah.  
> Come to think of it, Xaldin would have been hilarious. But.  
> Xaldin.  
> XALDIN.  
> -several paragraphs of Xaldin highlighted in different formats here-  
> I still haven't forgiven him for Critical Mode in KH2FM. Screw you, man. SCREW. YOU.  
> ALSO ALSO I headcanon that Lea was fourteen and Isa was fifteen during BBS, since all of KH's Tragic Stuff seems to happen to kids of fourteen (see: Sora, Kairi, Ven(?), Roxas (who died on his 15th birthday like COME ON GAME), Xion). So, like, this takes place about two years after Everything Goes Horribly Wrong (A* for Aqua because You Tried So Hard). Young Xehanort ruined Radiant Garden in under a year, so the Organisation's only been around for just over a year at this point.

It was eight, and Axel was late. Late by the Organisation's standards (seven o'clock, and not a minute later, otherwise you would be late to Xemnas's Grand Morning Speech and that was one thing you did not want to interrupt), and disastrously late by his own standards. Even as a human teenager, he was always awake at six, mostly to catch the sunrise, and then to run around Radiant Garden irritating as many neighbours as possible.  
Ahh, good memories.  
The thought made something in his chest itch, and he didn't have a heart, so it was definitely odd. Still. He'd missed Xemnas's GMC; it would be well over by the time he'd reach the canteen. After the GMC, most members just grabbed a snack and headed off to the main room to be briefed by Saïx over what fun and amazing mission they had for the day.  
Yes, he was still bitter over being sent to Christmas Town yesterday; for recon, no less. Christmas. Snow. Cold.  
Guy didn't have his head screwed on right.  
He suddenly sneezed, and rubbed at his nose with his finger. He didn't even his gloves on, for crying out loud. He totally had an illness.  
Stupid Christmas.  
With a yawn, Axel shouldered open the door to the kitchen, or the Diner of Dismay. Xemnas had clearly been in a gloomy mood when he'd named all of the rooms in the castle.  
There was a massive giant in the bland room's corner, stood beside a coffee machine as it churned and choked out torrents of smoke. It needed replacing, urgently, but Xigbar kept on using his catchphrase every time someone raised the issue.  
It's going to explode? Pfft! As if!  
Yeah, well, if it exploded in his face, Axel doubted that he would still be saying that. Another array of burns and scalds to add to his already-impressive scar collection.  
Shaking his head to get rid of the thoughts, Axel slid up next to the titan. “Hey, Lexaeus.”  
Lexaeus glanced at him and gave a stiff nod. Well. More of a response than most people got, so he would take it as a small victory.  
The machine squeaked, then, and Lexaeus poured some coffee into a cup and handed it to Axel.  
“Thanks.” It was his favourite cup, actually, cracked at the handle and chipped at the top. It was a grinning cartoon dragon, painted so that it looked as though he was swallowing up whatever you wanted to pour into the cup. He'd spotted it when he was last doing the supermarket run (along with Xigbar and Xaldin, and hoo, boy, that had taken a long time), and fell in love.  
Hey, he was sixteen. Heart or no heart, he could still attempt to enjoy kiddie things.  
He shook it, and the liquid sloshed about. Well, he loved it as much as a Nobody could love something, of course, which was not in the slightest.  
That itching in his chest returned. Was it his cold acting up? Probably. Chest infections, build-up of mucus, all of that.  
“Did I miss anything this morning?” he called out, flopping himself onto a chair that creaked at his light weight. He planked his feet onto the table's edge and took a small drink.  
Lexaeus was still shuffling about in the corner. He turned at Axel's words, looked rather bloated for a few seconds (which was his thinking face), and shook his head.  
“Xemnas was only talking about keeping morale high,” he said, voice like a low rumble. Well. Axel guessed that he couldn't have controlled the earth if he had a squeaky voice. He was surprised when Lexaeus continued, “he said that it could be a number of years before a Keyblade wielder is found.”  
“Yeah, well.” Axel sneezed into his elbow and rubbed his nose again. He took a small sip, welcoming the bitterness. Nothing quite shook him awake like an unhealthy dose of black coffee. Who needed breakfast? “As Organisation XIII, we should probably try and get thirteen members before anything else.”  
Lexaeus let out a low chuckle. “A valid point.” Lexaeus made to stand near him, but did not sit down; the one time Axel had caught him sitting down, hunched over in the tiny chairs, he looked like a titan that had been invited to a dwarf tea party by mistake and hadn't been given the option to leave.  
“So,” Axel said. “Why you always up this late?” The seriousness of his tone was wrecked when his nose itched again. He sneezed. It was a loud one, ridiculously so, a high-pitched wail that left Lexaeus lifting up his two hefty eyebrows.  
“I always wake this late to avoid the others.” His eyebrows went even higher. “Are you ill?”  
“What?” He let out a sharp laugh. “Course not!”  
That was when he noticed Lexaeus's cup.  
And stared.  
It was an innocuous enough cup, the words 'BEST DAD' smeared across ceramic white in childish (was that Zexion's?) handwriting. What was really interesting, however, were its contents.  
Or, rather, the froth and cream that was flowing out from over the top, frosting around Lexaeus's fingers.  
Axel coughed once, twice, then grinned. “Didn't know you were into cream.”  
Lexaeus gave him a passive look. Axel knew that that particular look implied the most ultimate of embarrassments. It was a look that his mother gave him when it turned out that he had somehow managed to pass every single class despite being asleep for most of school.  
He scratched his chest. Man, that cold was doing a number on his inwards.  
“I mean,” he continued, when Lexaeus did not even blink. “You don't even look like you drink coffee, no harm. You look like the kinda guy that drinks protein shakes in the morning.”  
“Who says that I don't?”  
“Ah, but you don't, do ya? You drink creamy coffee with-” There was a pink blob sailing amongst the sea of cream. “-Is that a marshmallow?”  
Lexaeus plucked it and swallowed it without chewing. “Of course not.”  
Axel waved a hand, quietly chuckling to himself. “Cool, I get it.” He finished off his boiling cup; he couldn't actually feel the heat, odd as it was, but he could feel the stinging in his mouth as blisters no doubt formed. Even since becoming a Nobody, he couldn't feel any heat above body temperature, period. The cold, though? He could still feel that, no bother.  
Worst of both worlds, honestly.  
He sneezed again, frowning at Lexaeus's small smile. If they had feelings, he would have even called it fond.  
Lexaeus nabbed a banana from the counter, and took a bite from it – skin still on – before speaking. “Keep my beverage preferences secret, and I shan’t let rumours of your illness spread.”  
“You-” Axel let out a particularly vicious sneeze and sneered. If anyone found out that he was sick, well, he could be a Dusk very easily. And thanks, really, but he'd have to pass. “-You're blackmailing me. A sixteen-year-old.” He squinted. “You're, like, forty.”  
“Thirty-four.”  
He let out a long moan. “Over twice my age, and you're blackmailing me?” Axel sunk down in his chair, deep enough that his chin was lodged firmly in his collarbone. “I can't believe this.” He sighed. “I'm the lowest ranking member, who would even believe me?”  
Lexaeus let out a mirth chuckle. “Even so, secrets must remain just that.”  
“I used to respect you,” Axel groaned. “I used to look up to you.”  
“A woeful decision.”  
“And now you're blackmailing me.”  
“As we have previously established.”  
“I hate you.”  
Lexaeus shook his head, smiling. “No hearts to hate with.”  
Axel blew air up his nose with a huff. “Shut up.”  
Today was going to suck. That wasn't opinion – that was fact.  
He got up, dropped his cup into the sink, sighed, and washed it out before setting it on the side to dry. There were countless filthy plates and cups, scattered all over the counter. Most of them were Xigbar's, no doubt; he loved snagging ten different breakfasts and only eating half of each one.  
He cranked his neck back to forth. Might as well go and get his super exciting mission. If it was in Christmas Town again, he'd-  
“Wait,” Lexaeus said.  
Axel paused in the doorway, and after a few seconds of silence, turned around. Lexaeus was standing next to him, two gloves hanging from his fingers.  
Oh, yeah. He glanced to his bare hands, then grinned sheepishly and yanked them off the older man. “Thanks.” He tugged them on, one after the other, and flexed his fingers.  
“Don't have too much fun.”  
“Man, I'll try not to!” Axel called with a wave over his shoulder. If he had looked a second longer, he would have saw Lexaeus's soft smile. The man waited until Axel had left, then turned around, finished his coffee, and set to washing the dishes, a foamy mustache floating on his lips for a long time.


End file.
